About Reboots

Post 23:

            I hear a lot of people sounding off on reboots and remakes, fists pounding for something new and fresh to enter the fold of entertainment media. This mostly goes for movies, but it has some merit in the world of books and TV as well.

            Let’s start with the obvious. Tons of new stuff gets pumped out into the ether, only to be swallowed up for reasons galore. Nobody got wind of it, nobody marketed it right, not the right time slot, the wrong release date, the wrong title, the wrong trailer—or it just plain sucked. There’s no way to prove it, but I’d say 50% should go into the, “it just plain sucked” category.

            Let’s proceed with more obvious. I’ll put it in caps. BRAND RECOGNITION. People responsible for distribution, we industry types call them “distributors,” want as sure a thing as they can get their greasy hands on. Not sure why I think the hands I’m describing are greasy; totally sure they’re as clean as a whistle… I’m writing this up just having watched TV’s version of Lethal Weapon. Most people on the planet have probably never seen the movie, yes, it’s that old, but it doesn’t matter. The name is familiar, memorable—two good things for distributors. Now I won’t pass judgment on the new episode, seemed fun enough, but that’s why they’re doing it. Ain’t rocket surgery boys and girls.

            Reboots or remakes don’t have to be bad. There can be a ton of heart and soul thrown into the reimagining of an old story. So what if they can’t come with something fresh? We’re idiots. We’ll take the same old same old. Just kidding. That last part was the nerd in me.

            As you can see, I’m trying to take the high road here. Sure, I want original material shoved in front of my judgmental face until I finally accept it, just like everyone else, but we can’t always get things our way. Right now I’m pretty sure I’m being so sarcastic I don’t even know if I’m real anymore.

            Whatever. This new Lethal Weapon sucks. Unless you can produce the actual Gary Busey burning himself with a frigging lighter just to prove how crazy we already know Gary Busey is, I’m not down with it.

            I’m calling for a meaningless boycott of all reboots until further notice. Unless they do another Field of Dreams. Can you imagine the masses rolling like thunder to get a look at the pulse-pounding tale of a guy cutting down his corn to make a baseball field? Dang it. Thought I was going to get out of here without anymore sarcasm.

            Failed again. Take it easy animals. See you after.