Tyler Has Words is the blog of Tyler Patrick Wood, a writer/musician from Texas. You'll get free book excerpts twice a week. On the other days, you'll get words. If you would like an original take on everything by an expert on nothing, this might be a cool place to hang out.

About Flimsy Folks and Basic Hygiene

About Flimsy Folks and Basic Hygiene

Post 454:

            I’m a little obsessed with history. If you read the blog, this is the opposite of news, but I’m telling you anyway.

            More and more, I’m convinced that my favorite period has to be the Dark Ages. They’re not really referred to as the Dark Ages anymore, considering it’s sort of a derogation of an entire people and time period of which we know very little, but whatever. Woohoo! Not like all those dead people are gonna complain. That’s why history’s fun.

            That’s why.

            Anyway, let’s get back to sanity. (Sorry, but I’ve already written 4000 words today)

            Let’s try, anyhow.

            Here’s what I like about the Dark Ages. People still don’t know what to think. Captain Expert thinks things were ramping up to greatness. It was all good in the hood. Who the hell are you to call the Visigoths barbarians? You bigoted monster. Take that opprobrium somewhere else whilst I retreat to my safe space and comfort pillow.

            But wait.

            Now we’ve got Scholar Van Booksmart saying that those people really were a bunch of dirty, no-good, shiftless, hairy barbarians. Frigging Belgians. Never could trust a one of them. I mean, enough with the screaming and the axes and the endless fighting over the same crappy piece of wannabe France. Scholar Van Booksmart is a bit over the top, but his was the general opinion for centuries.

            Here’s where good old level-headed Me swoops in with the sense.

            I like the Dark Ages because they remind me of a guy/gal going through a rough patch. Or a teenager. One of those things.

            Rough patchers and teenagers are hard to read. A little flimsy when it comes to what’s next. Could go either way, but not boring. So if you feel a little out of sync or if you’re a teenager, don’t freak out. Also, don’t keep doing what you’re doing. At some point you need to build some roads and get back to basic hygiene. Just saying.

            I love history. Because exact science.

            Cheers. See you after knuckleheads.

About The Wasted Penitent

About The Wasted Penitent

About Henry Fellows

About Henry Fellows