About In Private
Post 417:
Ambition will keep you from observing things. Even bright, big, obvious things. Not much you can do about it. There’s a reason for sayings. Blinded by ambition is a saying because time has tested it and confirmed its validity.
Anyone who wants to strike out and conquer the world is bound to look at what someone else has and be envious. Why should so and so be famous? Why do people care about old what’s his name’s books? I work just as hard—probably harder, dang it.
These are called fits. Most of us, even the best of us, are big babies, and we tend toward having the occasional fit. Just let it happen, let it pass, then get on with your business.
The truth is, you are probably better than some famous person in certain areas. But not all areas. That would make you perfect, and perfect don’t have an address in this fallen universe.
So when I get pouty, I look to what I do the worst and try to improve. Lately I’ve noticed that I am less than exceptional at describing people’s faces and bodies. This is a problem. There’s no room for being less than exceptional if I want to look myself in the mirror and smile back.
So it’ll be a bit before I smile back.
Good. It’s creepy to smile in the mirror, and it’s creepy to get all high on yourself. Be a proper artist and go into a twenty-four hour binge of depression followed by a twenty-four hour binge of artistic creativity so baffling brilliant you yourself won’t even be able to comprehend it.
Ambition causes depression. Ambition gives you that creative push. It makes you a jerk. It makes you do great things. Somebody should write a book about ambition. It’d be nice to find the sweet spot between the guy that never was and the guy that burned out from too much success.
I know, those people exist. There’s like six of them. All great people.
Stay ambitious. Attempt to stay sane. Be a baby, but try to do it in private. This is my advice for the day. Now get out there and be somebody.
Cheers. See you after.
